I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
