it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize