Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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