Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
