I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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