I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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