I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize