bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
