So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
