Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We're too hungover to prance.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
