No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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