She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize