its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
