need another drink. this is the easiest way
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
