No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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