Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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