Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
