so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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