actually, I'm a sock model
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize