I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do herpes really smell.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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