KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
