so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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