my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
