why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
