I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize