Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
