They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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