My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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