I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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