I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
