you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
