As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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