I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
