There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
