Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
