I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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