After last night, I could never be a politician.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
