I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
