It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
