I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
