I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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