The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize