he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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