so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
