I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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