walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
