For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
