just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
