exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
