yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
