i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
