She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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