just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
