I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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