I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
