i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
