she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
